i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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