You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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