What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
