i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
