You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
