I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
