The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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