Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am midnight drunk by noon
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize