at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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