miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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