Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
