Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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