"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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