DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
