why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
