i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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