i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
