we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
