She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
