honey bunches of taint.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
