:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
