All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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