Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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