Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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