you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
