What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
