Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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