VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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