Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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