Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
