THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
