New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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