Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
