Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
