she takes plan B like it's going out of style
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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