i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
