So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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