All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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