so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
