Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
