you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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