Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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