The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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