tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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