My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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