It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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