sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
ttyl tear gas
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
