I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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