my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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