I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
