1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
