Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We have started to decorate penises.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
