I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
