i just wanna soil my oats bro
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
